Awkward Vacation Message

Unfortunately for you, I will be on vacation this week. Posts will resume in the new year. In the mean time, please shield your eyes from this misuse of a cherished national brand:

Jolly Green GiAnT???????
I'm looking to get my bean snapped by the jolly green giant, but I'll take his little buddy Sprout too if that's what you got to offer. I am no Ho HO Ho, but I am hot to go and looking for some fast action NOW.

Merry Christmas from Must Be Hung!

For your Christmas present, I will spare you the horror of naked, fat Mrs. Claus. You're welcome.

looking for mrs. Santa

very honry little elf here looking for my big sexy mrs santa to have some fun with. While santa is busy getting ready for Christmas, let me sneak in and bury my face between your legs and give you what santa is too busy for these days. I know that there is a mrs santa out there that feel neglected at this time of year, let me come over and show you the attantion that you are not getting.

Wanna hakuna my tatas?

College student at [College] majoring in Biological Specializations seeks fwb to take my mind off the fact that I have no food. I was just sitting here thinking about how broke I am and wondering what I can do for entertainment that doesn't cost any money. Of course sex came to mind.

I just hope my stomach growling doesn't interrupt the festivities. Or - you know ... you could just FEED ME FIRST. I could really go for some Indian but hey, I'm not picky. Taco Bell works, too. What the hell, I am currently fantasizing about hitting a buffet.

As for me, I am a 28 y/o, hwp with 36EE. Age doesn't matter to me but I expect you to be ddfree like me.

Your pic gets mine. If you're cheap, don't bother replying. I know I'll be so grateful to be fed that I'll do anything your little heart desires. Unless I ate turkey. Then I'll fall asleep and we'll have to try again another time.

KIDDING! Sheesh. You people. ;)

Pussy Party in My Panties

Ok. I know this is a stupid idea and these things aren't really supposed to work or anything, but if I can't get laid tonight, what am I out by trying an ad? I have eyes of fire to match the spice and fire I bring to the bedroom. Sometimes I like to watch porn before or during sex. A guy with average looks and a mild attitude is just too too fun to corrupt. Can you play the innocent guy before I mess you all up? LOL. So, here I am!!

Seeking young women who molested as children.

I am seeking young women who were molested as children 9-14 or so who are now 18-21, must still look young and innocent for some role play fun. I am looking to role play dad, uncle, or grandfather with a young woman who wants to relive some of the excitement of what it was like to learn how to please a man. Looking for role play only! Not looking for actual children or under age females! Thank you for your interest.

Auguste clown seeks woman for gregarious sex

Me: Classically trained Auguste clown. I'm tall, impish, have gigantic feet and a rather obnoxious amount of curly, primary colored hair for you to get lost in. I'm terribly pale, but have very vibrant eyebrows and I'm always smiling.

You: Aren't afraid to laugh during sex; you LOVE makeup play; don't mind the use props in the bedroom and you are comfortable undressing a man in a full body jumpsuit. Looks aren't that important, but please have pictures to trade (I have plenty!). I know you're out there...

Full disclosure: I fuck like I perform (i.e., clumsy and awkward)

***Do you experience DIFFICULTY ATTAINING ORGASM?***

I can help. I have done extensive studies on women's anatomy and sexual responsiveness. I have learned a little-known technique that has given many females their very first orgasm, several others their very first multiple orgasms experience, and yet others their very first 'female ejaculation' experience (also known as 'squirting'). Seriously ladies, this is my specialty. Once 'unlocked,' you will be able to have orgasms whenever you desire. You no longer have to experience the frustration, sadness, and disappoinment. I know what you are going through...feeling like you are 'broken.' You're not. I have worked with many different women with this issue. Quite often, this is due to childhood issues...perhaps a religious environment, or sadly, quite often it has to do with a molestation in your past. I am a very understanding and gentle man. I am also a victim of childhood molestation, so I am very empathetic. I can send you 'testimonials' from some of the women that I have worked with if you would like to see them. And the best part...this is absolutely FREE and completely SAFE. This DOES NOT involve intercourse. 

A little about me...I am a 47 year-old, divorced white professional, 6'3, 235#, with brown hair and eyes. I have a very easy-going personality, and a great sense of humor. You will find that you will be relaxed shortly after meeting me. I really am a very nice man.

Do yourself a favor...don't continue living with the sadness and frustration. Orgasm is not only physically pleasurable, it is also a wonderful emotional release as well. Send me a message if you would like more details. Serious inquiries only, please.

AUDIT MY BOOKS BABY

I have a great idea for anyone who has any experience doing workers compensation audits. I've had this fantasy ever since I found out that workers comp is going to audit my books in 10 days. It starts with me and you meeting in some random place. There is an immediate sexual attraction but after speaking we find that the sexual attraction we feel is magnified by the knowledge of workers compensation audits you have and the need for workers compensation audits help that I have. The desire turns red and we must run to the car, speed to my place, get totally naked and have sex for hours. The best part is that it continues for 10 days and either before, during, or after each time, we work on preparing me for the audit. I eed a cold shower after even talking about it.

It's like an erotic business fairy tale.

If you have been having a similir fantasy and would want to discuss making it real, please get a hold of me right away. We could leave out the sex if it's a deal breaker for you but I hope you decide it's best played exacty as I desribed it. I'm so excited and can't wait to hear from you.

Looking for a Pretty Amputee Lady

Looking for a clever, pretty woman who is missing a leg or an arm (or more.) I'm a nice guy, easy to look at and easy to talk to, 5'10", dark hair, dark eyes, not an adonis but in decent shape, and kind and attentive in and out of bed. Age 25-50 is fine, and I make an effort to stay ht/wt proportionate and expect the same. I am in town on business this week and anywhere in metro [city] is fine to meet, so let's have a pleasant night or two and see what happens! For just sex is fine, but warming up with dinner, drinks, and interesting conversation first would be better.
Legitimate replies don't need a pic but must tell me that you are actually an amputee.

Tequila Makes Mу Сlothes Fall Off!

Looking for noncommitted, NSA fun? Check me out. If you like dark hair, dark eyes, darkish skin like the Mediterranean look....kind of exotic, we should meet. There's nothing wrong with a little pain in the sack. Sooooooooooo, that's me. You? Tell me about you cuz I'м waiting and listening. I'm ready for some ideas. Just act like the luckiest man alive, and you will be. :)

Misunderstood crazy seeks Bat suit FrEaK

ArE YoU sTiLl LaUgHiNg?!?!?
Horny clown guy seeks a thrill seeking jock in a bat suit for FUN !!

Mutual oral, cussing each other out as we roll in bed, and the floor, in the shower. I might let you put your cock in my ass or.. I might put my dick in your "bat cave"

Be White, Send pix . I will take pictures of my cock in your mouth and butt. wear your mask. I will wear my make-up.

Robin can join in too. I will tie him to a chair. Lick his boy wonder hole, then jerk him off as he cums in my face.

"Let's Put a Cock in that ass!"

-- Joker

Lets fuck doggystyle while we watch KnightRider!

Im a handsome good looking funny dude and I was hoping that I could the something a little off the wall tonight. I love when I enter girl from behind and do her doggy-style. It feels so good when I am pounding her wet pussy with my 8.5 inch thick cock. But here is the kicker I want to do this while watching reruns of the Night Rider. I love when The car "Kit" talks to David Hasselhof and I want to be fucking when I here him say "Dont turn there Michael". I know that this may sound weird but I think it will really would be worth it. You see I am a very good lover, I have been told way too many times how well I know how to use my cock. I love to fuck and especially doggy-style. This could be the best sexual adventure you and I have ever had. I also think it would be col if I could balance a bowl of Ben and Jerrys ice cream on your back So I can have some tasty ice cream while we are fucking and watching Night Rider. If you are felling it I will feed you spoonfuls of the ice cream too. I know this sounds weird but its totally legit. I will make you cum a couple of times because of my cock size and my ability to stay hard after I cum. Ok I cant wait to here from you.

Kicking Holiday Heels

Want someone who would kick me with heels. Would like the family jewels etc... busted. Never really had it before and would like to meet a gal who will introduce her heels to my body. I'd like to know what heels your a fancy to so if you have a picture - great. I'd like the choice of heels. Maybe meet somewhere and explore this request. Serious only.

I miss Mardi Gras - Can you help?

Show me your breasts and I will send pics back of me! Want me to go first? Email me! We can see where it goes...lets have a little fun on Sunday night! :)

By the way, I am real, my response to your email might be short to start with to make sure you are also real!

Handsome Exec In Sexless Marriage Seeks Partner For Secret Trysts

I'm 46 yrs old, 6 ft tall, good looking, very fit and athletic. I work professionally in [city]. I'm stuck in a passionless marriage with no sex life. I have an extremely high sex drive, but I'm not the sort of guy to see escorts and masturbation just isn't cutting it. After years of sexual frustration, I've decided its time for me to seek an outlet for my needs. I'm taking a chance and posting here in hopes of meeting an attractive woman, married or single, who understands my situation and has her own needs for a discreet physical relationship and friendship that won't blow up either of our lives. Please be attractive and fit (sorry, I like feminine curves, but if you describe yourself as "curvy" that seems to be code for overweight, not my type.....). I hope this grows into a unique friendship, so I value intelligence, a sense of humor and, of course, the discretion to handle this sort of thing. If you're as nervous as I am about meeting someone this way, then you're just what I'm looking for! Non-smoker is a must. Daytimes or evenings, whatever works best for you. So if you're the sort of woman who's erotic needs are unsatisfied, and if your friends and family would never believe you're reading CL, I hope you reply. Let's exchange a few emails and maybe meet someplace discreetly for coffee or drinks, then see if it makes sense to continue.....Life's too short, let's grab this chance and explore together...

man curious for dick under a dress!

Looking for around 2:30 am. Want a dick in a sexy dress.

Somewhere in the [city] to [city] area. Can find a place for hosting. Mainly want to lift your sexy satiny dress and suck you dry! Have sucked dick before, I won't chicken out! Just be CLEAN AND SEND PIC!

Hi everyone googling for strange things! Look at MustBeHung Home for more comics.

Giant mushroom head

Giant guy, with giant cock. Need to dump my man juice.

Hi everyone searching for giant mushroom dick porn! Take a look at my other comics: Must Be Hung Home.

sexy granny fantasy

My mind definitely wanders, hopefully yours does too. You might get lightheaded when thinking of possibilities with a younger guy. What you ache for he wants to give, your maturity he'd love to experience. Breaking the rules on occasion adds a thrill that intensifies satisfying one another. A candle lit motel room might certainly set the tone for hot torturous play.

If you're the sensual type with a naughty side to explore we should definitely talk. Tell me about you, what you like, what turns you on and makes your heart pound. I'd wait for your knock in merely a robe covering my toned body.

Hi everyone googling for grannies! Check out some other MustBeHung comics at MustBeHung Home.

Tag Cloud

The first few pages of "Casual Encounters" titles, with x4x and "looking" stripped. Via Wordle.